...With You

for all the times i made you feel less than you are,

what can i say,

but i'm sorry.

apologies and love coming too late

for you

to reconcile

this

with

that.

my heart breaks to think of you,

and i do...

a lot.

smiling men with women and children

i see out in town,

and i sink and shudder to realise.

why didn't i smile more?

so much to smile for.

my mind too big a knot

to unravel.

it needed this bomb

to set it free.

undo the confusion,

the delusion,

the illusion

of who i thought

i might be...

but i wasn't.

i was meant to be with you

and you with me,

but i couldn't see

and so blew it.

my pessimism draining

the love from you

that you had for me.

you in your quiet understated wisdom

knew all,

and i dropped the ball

again

and

again

and

again.

didn't even see it

until it smacked me hard in the face

and left me bloodied

and humble,

in love,

in love,

in love...

with you.