Loser?

I've just seen an article online, on the subject of rebuilding a life in the aftermath of a break up.  In it the author states "one of my pet peeves is knowing that people are doing desperate acts to try and get someone to love them". 

Now I know what the person is saying, and I am well aware that an accusation of desperation might be levelled at me in the writing of this blog.  So how do I feel about that?  To be honest I couldn't care less.  Of far more importance to me is the opportunity to get it all down, and not be a victim to yet more regret. 

I'm sure someone somewhere once said that "if only" are the two saddest words in the world.  Well I already have a whole stack of "if onlys" to my name and I don't want anymore - least of all where Becky and our children are concerned.  So here it is.  

You can't make someone love you anyway.  Lots of things have to align for that love, to truly happen.  All this is, for me, is a platform to say what I feel, present my case if you will, and expect nothing.  My heart is true and my heart is good...now. 

Myself and Becky both came from broken homes, and while we said we were determined to avoid that happening to our children, I feel I barely paid it lip service, in terms of any real determination to prevent it.  Because for certain, the warning signs were there for a long time.  I was arrogant enough to think though, that this day would never come.  

So, being called desperate for writing this blog is nothing, compared with the 0.00001% chance that might exist of repairing the home that I broke.